my lessons learned

If you look at my last couple of blog post dates it appears I've been MIA.
Believe me there has been plenty of A, I just haven't let you in on it yet. So it's time to come clean. There's been good and there's been bad.

I've met some lovely local South Florida dancers, I've attended some amazing workshops and some great shows. On the bad front I've been mourning the loss of one my favorite early bellydance teachers, Rashid, and I have been mentally struggling with some dance drama happening in my former town.

Of course I can't wait to share with you all the great stuff, I already wrote about Rashid. And as much as I hate thinking about the dance drama story, it would be inauthentic of me to just gloss over it. So instead I'll look for the lesson in it. Is there anything I can take away from it?

My intention isn't to gossip. It's more of a cautionary tale.


This is the gist: Last I knew, it was very possible that, two dance instructors in town were going down a litigious path. Something to do with business names, trademarking, etc.

The news was jarring to say the least. It is painful to think that this sort of thing could happen among fellow bellydancers that are part of the community that I lived in just a short time ago and that I still hold close to my heart.

I can't claim to know what it feels like to be on either side of the story but I know that if my body, gut and heart reacted the way it did -- the specific individuals involved aren't having their best days either. I can only imagine that they are cycling through an awful range of emotions; anger, distress, uncertainty, misery.

As if this scenario wasn't bad enough as is, I come to find out that the situation was inflamed by someone very close to me. My husband. When he believes in something strongly and especially as he springs to protect those he loves, he can be quite destructive. Apparently while high on outrage, he posted some vicious Facebook comments regarding this whole fiasco. Anyone that knows me in the slightest knows I would have done everything in my power to stop him, had I known he was going to post these comments. Why? Because he, like almost every other reasonable human being out there -- after calming down and giving it some more thought will not be as angry and will not write such impolite comments. Simple as that. Which of course is exactly what happened and now he feels awful about it.
I'm not saying people shouldn't have opinions or speak their mind. But there are ways to do these things.

eewww...potential to get uglier

The tendency in scenarios such as this is to choose sides. It's to run and support the side that resonates with you.
Understandably so, though, these circumstances breed unfriendly undercurrents in any climate, wouldn't they? They can very easily lead to a bruised and broken community. Who would want to dance in this ambiance?

And that is why I am so saddened by these events. I think of my dance friends and family left to deal with and operate in this uncomfortable environment. Although I'm not there I care and this whole thing has been quite depressing. But you know what? Enough.

beauty comin' through

I've had enough. I've decided that I believe in the intelligence, the grace, and the respect that many dancers within the community do have for each other and for our beautiful dance. I believe that they will not let this event and negative or pushy attitudes dominate the culture of their dance world. They will not buy into the drama and spectacle of the whole thing.

live, learn, move on

What do I take away from it?
I can only hope that it's not too late to perhaps arrive at a resolution that works for everyone. For both instructors and for the community as a whole.

No one acts in a vacuum. Whether you know or not, whether you care or not those around you are affected. Some deeply, some superficially, some even without their knowledge. Own and cherish your responsibility, especially if you are a community leader.

Don't buy into the drama.

Just Dance Dammit! 

Those are some of the lessons I'm taking with me. But mostly I am SO ready to move on! And you, any lessons? Or just mostly ready to move on?

1 comment:

  1. So ready to move on. I didn't really learn any lessons because I chose to just stay the heck out of it. Neither of the people involved are teachers who I study with, so there was no reason for me to do anything more than find out what was going on, form my own opinions, and move on. I sincerely hope that the two teachers/studios involved can solve things amicably and without causing any further damage to the community... but ultimately I am neither part of the problem nor part of the solution.


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